Ok From the begining

So here I am ... Working hard to become literaly Half of myslef...  7 months ago I wanted to be less than half of myself.  This Blog may contain many things but my purpose for starting is to track and  express my thoughts and feelings on my  journey to loose a tremendous amount of weight.  I want to weigh 150 lbs.  and right now I weigh 305.

On my Birthday July 14th 2010, I stepped on the scales at 390 lbs.  The most I have ever weighed and way more than I ever thought I would.  So I started one final attempt to loose weight, a battle I have been fighting as long as I can remember, and have failed more times than I care to think about.  So slowly I began making small changes...things that could be changed without making to much of an impact on my day to day life.  I managed to drop 40 lbs by about mid november.  Then I got sick.. I got a fever that just would not go away.  I went to the doctor several times and was sent home told I had the flew and to wait it out.  Then after about 2 weeks of running a fever of about 102 or higher (sorry if you are squeemish), I had a bowl movement that was black.  So I went into the ER and within an hour I had had so much blood drawn I and surprised I had any left.   Soon after that the doctor came in witht hte results.  I blood levels were so messed up and the black in the stool was blood, ..  I was admitted to the hospital.  Long story short. I had a bleed in my esophogus,and was eventually told that if I had waited 2 or 3 more days to come into the Hospital... I would have bleed to death.    That is a scary thing to be told.  I spent 3 weeks in hospital before they were ableto do surgery to help the problem that caused the bleed in the first place.  That took place on the 22 of December.  I was released on the 23rd.  I was told that I had to loose 100 lbs from my admission weight in order to have a second surgery I will need to have down the road because it would be to dangerous to do it at my current weight. I was 350 at admission. 
I went home and weighed in at 313.  I was assigned a dietition.  She told me that with the fast lost die to a liquid diet it would be a few weeks before my weight started to move again.  She thought I would actually gain a bit.  Luckily that did not happen.  I have now been given the green light to exercise again and the weight has started to move again.  So here I am at 305 about the cross into the 200's a place I have not been in over 10 years.  I realise I  have to make bigger changes.  Ones that will affect my everyday life.  I no longer even want my daily life to be the same as it has been.  I have not been as happy as I want to be nor as healthy.  I have not been all the person I can be. I want to be physically half myself.  But twice the servant of God, wife, friend and hopefully one day mother than I have been able to be up till this point.

I feel better than I have in years.  I had been sick inside for years and had no idea.  I am down 85 lbs and no longer sick.    I can not wait to see how I feel in the coming months... and that is why I am here to be able to see how far I have come.  I want to look back and see the struggles and victories I have had.

I hope that this can encourage others who are struggling on this difficult journey of weightloss.  Wether you want to loose 30 lbs or 300 lbs.  I hope my musings that I write as a part of my journey can encourage you on your journey.
 So starting weight as of today...305. 
Half of myself 155 away. Here I go.