A Skinny Girl in a Big girls body. That is how I have always felt. A lot of people who are big and lose weight say that they still feel like that Fat person they used to be. I am a Fat person who has never been skinny but I don't feel like a fat person.
Let me explain. I am a woman. Plain and simple. Not a fat woman or a skinny woman. Just a woman. I have the same thoughts, feelings, and intelligence as any other woman. I say this because even though most people may " Of course, I believe that" most do not act as they say they believe. There have been so many times in my life that people, even those who I have, and still consider close friends treat you differently. Now I am not talking about being considerate of ones feeling like at a restaurant when you ask if I would rather sit at a table because I may not fit in the booth. Those things are kind and not offensive to me at all. It is not even the outright teasing that every fat girl fears, that hurts the most.
What hurts the most are the attitudes that most people don't even realize. I as a woman feel all the same emotions, desires, hopes and dreams of any other woman. Sometimes I feel that others, even those I love and who love me, sometimes forget that. Sometimes I think people even feel that I don't have the right to feel those feeling, or have those desires.
For example, and you see this all the time, Men in general feel it is OK to say flirty things to a big girl, thinking he is doing her this big favor, when he has no real intentions. He figures that she knows better than to think he could possibly be interested in her "in that way". This happened to me more times than I can count in my younger years when I was searching for a mate. Some even felt it was OK to touch a Big girl inappropriately, something they never would have considered doing to a thin girl, after all she could not possibly have the same feelings as another girl, A big girl has no right to be offended. I am glad that this stage of my life is over and that I found a Mate who does love me.
Women do it to. They talk down to you. Speak to you like a child. I have seen people rephrase something that they just said to "help me understand". My body may be slow, my mind is not.
I just want the world to know, I think clearly, I love my husband the same as any other woman, I want to be treated like a lady, I love to laugh, and do so at myself more than most, I have interests in things other than dieting and exercise. I have hopes and dreams just like any other woman.
I can not wait to be healthy and thin so that I can be seen for who I really am without the filter of my "thick skin".
Just to be clear, I don't want people to be afraid of everything they say to me or another Big woman, just be aware of your attitude. What are you really feeling about that Big person in your life, in the deepest part of you?
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