Motherhood

So this may seem like a strange title from a woman with no children.  But hear me out.... I think I may offer a unique perspective.  Motherhood is something that I probably think about more then most people.  When you ache to your core to be one and don't know if you will ever be one, you think about it a lot.  But that is a subject for another day.   Motherhood has been brought to my attention in so many ways in recent days and therefore has been on the forefront of my mind even more often then usual.

So, What is a mother?  I mean what does it really mean to be a mother.  Does simply giving birth make you a mother.  I know scientifically speaking you are.  But is that all it takes to make a person a mother.  I have recently heard of a mother who allowed her husband to abuse her daughter.  I know this sadly happens everyday but this time it was brought to my attention in a different way close to home.  Was she a mother?
Is not a mothers first priority to her children to protect them.

Then I think of a friend who is adopting a baby boy from a young woman who choose them to raise and love her baby.  She is giving him to a wonderful family to raise because she knows that it is something that she is not able to do.  She knows that it is best for that baby boy.  She will hand her baby boy to someone else and possibly never see him again.  Is she a mother?

An acquaintance had a baby boy this week at 21 weeks and held him for 2 hours before the Lord called him home.  Her heart aches for him but her arms are empty.  She will not raise him.  Is she a mother?

How about someone like me.  A woman who aches for a child in her soul and is possibly unable to have one.  I care for and love other peoples children on a  daily basis.  I love them, feed them, play with them ,cuddle them when they are sick, clean up after them, make sure my home and everything around them is safe for them.    Is she a mother?

I think being a mother is in the heart.  There is no question, I am sure in anyones mind that, a woman who has a baby she loved pass on, is a mother.  There is no real question there.  It just helps to make my point.  I do not think that  a woman has to have a child in her home to raise to be a mother, and many woman who do have children in their homes are certainly not mothers.  I think that a woman who hands her child to another to raise because she knows that it is best for that blessed child....She is a mother.  She loves that child enough to be selfless and allow that child to be raised where they are safe and loved.  The woman who aches for her child  she held only a short time, who will not be coming home with her... She of course is a mother, always and forever.

The mother who knowingly allowes her child to be harmed...In my mind and heart she...is not a mother. 

These are all typically easy opinions I think for people to accept but what about the woman like me who aches for a child so badly that it feels unbearable some days.  IS she a mother?  For years I would not even have posed the question.  Of course she is not a mother.  But recently I have realized that being a mother does not require one to have a child that calls you MOM.  I think being a mother comes form the heart.  I care for children in my home, I also love and try to connect with the children of my friends.  I care for them.  Worry about their safety and love them.

I never go to church on Mothers Day,  it is to hard.  I hate when they try to give me a flower or whatever they are giving to women that year.  It always just reminded me that I am not a mother and I would never take one.  I say all this to say, I don't know if you would call me a mother as one would think of a mother... but I, and others like me,  have the heart of a mother.  SO this year I will proudly take that flower knowing that if God never allows me to raise a child who will call me MOM, He still gave me the heart of a mother and I will use it in whatever way He calls me to.