Through my many years of struggling with weight I have discovered something about myself that most people would not think true of a big woman. I am a "closet perfectionist". Nothing in my life is perfect. But I have been trying to listen much better to my inner dialogue...the things that I say to myself. I have realized that if everything can not be perfect I give up.
With the weight loss... if I make a mistake and eat something I shouldn't I throw my hands in the air and give up the whole thing instead of just letting it go and immediately getting back on track. Or if my miss the exercise I have scheduled for myself I just give up.
I have noticed this attitude in my life in other areas as well. Like my home. If I cant have everything perfect all the time I give up on trying to keep in tidy.
I find the attitude present in just life in general. When I feel life if flowing on an even keel, if one little ripple appears I lose all control of my emotions.
So how to I stop this attitude from destroying my life. I am not really sure. But I am going to start with lots of prayer and an attempt to be satisfied with my best. I am going to allow myself to make mistakes and try to just pick up and move on. Now that I am aware of my internal dialogue I think it will be easier... not easy, but easier... to continue on and allow myself not to be perfect without giving up completely.
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