Fear of the Scale

So the last time I got weights I was 301.  That is very very close to a significant bench mark.  I get weighed on Tuesday.  I am waiting till Tuesday because I am going shopping that day for some new things and I want to know exactly what I weigh when I do and I am making myself only get weighed once a week.  The reason that I am doing that is because if I am not down each and every time I get weighed I get very discouraged and it usually throws the diet into a tailspin for a few days.  Sundays is usually my day but this week I am waiting till Tuesday for 2 reasons.  I really do want to know what I weigh when I get my new cloths but really I am terrified.  I am terrified that I am not going to be under that 300 mark and I am going to be really discouraged.I have been working really hard this last week but I am still afraid.  The scale does not always care about how hard you have been working.  But at the same time I really know I have been doing well so a part of me can't wait to get on the scale and not see a 3 in front on my weight for the first time in about 10 years.  Which makes me even more afraid because if I don't get there it could really send me into a tailspin because my hopes are so high.

 So where does this leave me.  I am not sure.  I guess I need to try to remember that no matter the number that all this work means that my body is getting healthier in other ways.  My lungs and heart are getting stronger.  My muscles are getting stronger.  My body systems are working more efficiently.  So I need to try to remember that it is not all for nothing if the numbers don't reflect the work every time I get on the scale. 

All that said... here's hoping for good things on the scale on Tuesday.